Habits to Nurture Your Household

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30, NIV)

When we consider nurturing our relationship with God or ourselves we commonly hear the phrase, "mind, heart, and soul." When it comes to nurturing our homes, it should be no different. We've broken down the household into these three areas to help give you ideas to renew or reclaim your home. May they help you nurture your home, yourselves, and your families.

THE MIND OF THE HOUSE

Think of the mind as the mental load, the things everyone needs to help take ownership of. These should be physically present in your main living areas. This may be the kitchen, a hallway, a den, etc. Pick a spot where you can visually put the inner workings of your mind on the wall.

• Calendar--if it's not on the joint calendar, it's likely to be forgotten! Digital is always an option, but a physical calendar can be a nice visual, especially with younger kids. Either way, the calendar helps take the pressure off you to remember everything for everyone else. Deadlines, church commitments, classes, theme days, field trips, vacations, meetings--you name it. On the calendar it goes. (A few calendar and wall organizer suggestions here!)

• Menu for the week--it's not just for aesthetics, teach your family to look at the board instead of the agonizing question "What's for dinner?" every night! This also helps you all plan for the work trips, late practices, and family parties in advance. Maybe the kids help pick the menu, or you set the menu and they have to engineer the grocery list. This can change as they age, but the idea to list the menu for the week stays!

• Space for To Dos & Don't Forgets--spot for the lists, reminders, save the dates, mail trays or ways to sort through the in and out files of your home that everyone is aware of and knows your household's specific rules. i.e. bills here, Mom & Dad need to sign, etc.

The mind of the home can feel exacerbating. But it is essential or getting the logistics handled and basic needs met. Without some sort of system that works for you, it will always feel out of control. Let the physical mind of your home empower and strengthen your ability to manage alongside your family.

“...be renewed in the spirit of your minds.”(Ephesians 4:23, ESV)

THE HEART OF THE HOUSE

Think of this as the physical presence and state of the house. If this goes, it's easy to let go of the mind and soul if we are not careful. They work together, they are all important. But when speaking to most mothers, this is the area we spend the most time battling. So this is the largest section!

A note here: we are not striving for Pinterest-perfect homes, but we are allowed to dream of a semblance of order. Here we try focusing on the three Rs of nurturing the heart of the house: daily resets, laundry rules, and trash routines.

"[She] is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds." (1 Timothy 5:10, NIV)

While you can certainly do these yourself, enlisting children into helping care for their home has so many benefits. Depending on the number of kids you have and what stages they are at you may have to modify what it means to have them help you. But teaching your forming humans early on how they can help nurture their home is invaluable to you and them.

Age of child versus range of responsibility

Toddlers: 12 months-4 years old. They'll need simple, imitable, and repeatable tasks. Their ability to catch on to patterns and routines will vary from child to child. Use a toddler's love of testing gravity and containers to your advantage...

Littles: 5-8 years old. A little routine and you may be surprised at how well your littles get the hang of lending a hand. This also coincides when most kids begin schooling, so having routine in schoolwork and housework makes sense. Keep it simple and clear.

Bigs: 9-12 years old. Here they've likely been doing the basics for years, now we kick it up a notch in having them doing things with more independence and ownership.

Teens: 13 years+ If you build responsibility slowly and steadily, hopefully, your teen won't be appalled when you expect them to participate in the running of the household. But if your teen is resisting, don't overthink it. Talk to them about why they are resisting pitching in and see where you can compromise or set a clear expectation.

Daily Resets.  Keep this simple and make it work for you. This will look different for a mama working full time inside versus outside the home. If you are home during most weekdays, try two points in the day where you do a daily reset.

For littles try doing it when your littles are sleeping, once at nap time and once when they go down for the longer stretches at night. If you are coming home from a long day at the office, maybe you can ask your caregivers to pitch in for one of these when the kids go down for naps, and you just handle the one after bedtime. As your babies become toddlers and preschoolers you can have them assist (in whatever capacity may be appropriate) with the pre-bedtime resets. Slowly you show them and build the habit of caring for their space.

Ways to Involve the Kids in Daily Resets

Toddlers: Have easy access baskets for their toy sets--like blocks or cars. Have them help you put away the same type of items in their perspective baskets. They'll catch on quicker than you might think with the right energy.

Littles: Have them make their bed, it may not be perfect, but it forms the habit

Bigs: Have them set and/or clear the table

Teens: Have them wipe down the counters once a day before bed. The kitchen and bathrooms are good candidates for most in need of daily wipe-downs.

Laundry Rules.

As in having a set laundry rules that each member of the house can follow and pitch in. Maybe you have a set of hampers for sorting in your laundry space (i.e. lights, colors, darks, etc). Maybe each member of the household is responsible for the hampers in their room. Whatever works for your family. But instilling that laundry isn't a done, not done type of task, but is instead a cycle of filling the hamper, sorting clothes, washing, drying, folding, and putting away will help avoid the formidable laundry mountains we all succumb to now and again.

Ways to Involve the Kids in Laundry Rules

Toddlers: Have them put their dirty clothes in a kid-sized hamper, they love taking them out so why not teach them to toss them in!

Littles: Have them help you put clothes in the washer and switch to the dryer.

Bigs: Have them help you sort dirty clothes and put away their clean ones

Teens: Instill in them they do their own laundry, if not helping with the household!

Trash Routines. Or rather pre-trash day routines. That's right a pre-trash day routine. Take your typical trash day of the week and the day before you (or the members of your household responsible for trash chores) are going to be sure to collect all the trash in the bathrooms, offices, bedrooms, etc, and condense them to the larger trash bins. These little bins are often neglected until they are overflowing. Try instead keeping them clean and manageable each week just like you do with major trash bins.

Ways to Involve the Kids in Trash Routines

Toddlers: teach them where the trash is and to discard tissues, napkins, or snack bags when they are done.

Littles: have them help take part in their pre-trash day routines by bringing their bedroom or bathroom trash to the main trash each week.

Bigs: have them be in charge of putting the consolidated trash bag in the bins or sorting the recycling before trash day.

Teens: have them in charge of the curbside drop off/pick up for your bins.

Let the 3 Rs of resets, rules, and routines help you nurture your home. Not only will they help your load feel more manageable, they will help you focus on the true gift of your home, a safe dwelling place for you and your loved ones. Be that your immediate family or the village you welcome inside! For more ideas on welcoming your village, see our post How to Make Your Home Welcoming.

THE SOUL OF THE HOUSE

How are you integrating spirituality into your household? Where is God in your home?

While "we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7, NKJV) there is another saying that is not biblical but also true, "out of sight out of mind." Keeping your faith physically present in your belongings and practices will help keep your faith alive. Here are a few things to help keep your house feeling soulful.

Add physical items to refocus your faith:

• religious artwork

• crucifixes

• scripture tapestries or prints

Add family habits to strengthen your faith:

• pray over each other out loud

• read the bible together

• study a devotional as a family

• listen to worship music

• morning and evening prayer habits

Add social practices to show your faith:

• Say grace to give thanks at meals

• monthly or weekly dinners to welcome neighbors, family, or friends over for a community night! Storytelling, craft nights, tastings, and game nights are all strongly encouraged.

These are just a few ideas to get your wheels turning. Maybe you do all of these or maybe you want to add just a few of them. Either way, we love seeing the different ways our sisters' homes reflect their faith.

We hope focusing on the mind, heart, and soul of your home helps you restore a little joy in your homemaking. A little effort nurturing these areas can have a big impact on not only how your home looks, but how it feels—helping you live out your values as a child of God. As you set off to integrate a few of these practices, we leave you with a final blessing to pray over you, your families, and your home:

"The LORD our God, the LORD is one.

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, ESV)